As i’ve alluded to before, at the moment i’m really digging into the whole story of my struggle with my weight, and examining it from angles that I might not necessarily have considered before. I’m starting to realise that weight issues are as much metaphysical as they are physical…that is, that there is a very strong mind/body connection that influences our ability to maintain a healthy weight.
Back in 2006 I journalled about something that has played on my mind from time to time since then…I wrote a very sad and self-critical piece about how I was SURE that all my unhappy, negative thoughts were ‘laying themselves down one ontop of the other’ on my thighs, my hips, my backside…all over really. And that unless I resolved that negativity, toward myself and others, I was never going to be able to get rid of the unsightly results of that.
At the time, I was stuck at the peak of a vortex of self-hate, but beginning to see some glimmers of light. This idea, though it arose from a place of self-loathing, is one of those glimmers…for a long time, even before that point, I was CONVINCED that there was one single thing I would discover that would literally unlock the door holding me back from solving my life-long struggles with weight and self-image.
Of course, for years I was also convinced that this THING was essentially external – that I would find the right diet, the right eating plan, the right food that I was allergic to that was completely derailing me and all of my efforts, the right vitamin or supplement, the right exercise plan…you get the idea. And I tried all of these and more…and none of them gave me the lasting results, or the peace of mind, I was searching for.
But still, I was convinced. The idea that there was this one, special, magical key persisted.
And I think I might have finally discovered it.
I’ve written about my recent ‘life holiday’ and the space it has given me to really think things through, do lots of reading about everything, clear out all the clutter in my life, and allow room for new things to start flowing in. It has been so beneficial on all fronts, but in this sense most particularly because it has opened me up to many new ideas and influences that I was closed to before.
One of these ideas is that of mind/body nutrition, and how our psychology deeply affects the way our bodies metabolize food. It’s a pretty exciting field i’m hoping to learn more about, and i’m hopeful it will be that elusive key to help me heal my relationship with food, and myself. It’s not my own invention – there’s a whole school of thought out there about this, which science is starting to catch up on – and think it deserves a post of its own, so I won’t go into the idea in depth here, but it’s a pretty important piece of the puzzle for me, finally dropping into place. Anyway…more later on that.
So, last week, I had a bit of a revelation, coming ontop of all this. I’ve been reading quite a few self development books lately (they make a nice change to textbooks!), and suddenly realised I could apply one of those ‘fake it til you make it’ manifesting techniques to change my whole approach to this weight loss malarkey.
Instead of feeling like I’m pushing through some invisible barrier, not really knowing anymore what I’m doing right or wrong, and never getting anywhere lately, I’ve decided to just act like I’ve already got the healthy, slim body I want.
That night, I wrote down all the things I would do differently if I were already that person. Some of them were activities like exercise, some of them related to mood and sociability, some of them had to do with food. I just got really honest with myself and while I realised there were a lot of things on that list, they all boiled down to one thing:
I would treat myself with love and respect.
So that’s the new game plan – I’m changing my mind, before changing my body. I’m going to love the shit out of myself and treat myself exactly as I would if I had already attained my goal.
And real talk here – I don’t mean laying back on the couch eating Tim Tams, guilt free – because you and I both know that if we had the bodies we wanted, we would think differently, we would feel differently, and we would definitely act differently.
I’m not going to try to change everything, all at once, like I have in the past, and inevitably failed to keep to those impossibly high standards…just one little thing at a time – like a little energetic handshake with the Universe to say, I’m here, I’m ready…let’s do this.
I feel like i’ve got that key in my hands. Now it’s time to use it 🙂